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Writer's pictureAmanda Hartwig

We Still Break ...


So as I was washing the dishes this morning, I was stuck in a moment. This particular moment wasn't in the present. It wasn't today. I wasn't here. My head pointed left to look at our refrigerator. 

On the side of it sat a photo of him. 

As I studied my hands around his torso, I was to picture that exact moment in time. He was wearing a onesie. And his hair had never been cut. We were sitting on our living room floor, and I could feel what his body felt against my hands. 

It was Bo. 

As I came back to reality, Wayne came in the kitchen. I felt his arm brush across my back and he knew. He held me and said, 

"I miss him too hunny!" 

He just held me. As I broke down, I could hear in the background KLOVE on the radio. .

MercyMe-Even If 

"They say sometimes you win some Sometimes you lose some And right now, right now I'm losing bad I've stood on this stage night after night Reminding the broken it'll be alright But right now, oh right now I just can't.." 

And as Wayne held me. 

I realized there's no place I'd rather be today than church. 

So I was able to collect myself and think about our organization. 

What we are doing to help others and how God is going to be able to use us as testimony. 

I'm so thankful for God. 

I'm thankful for the trials that 

he selects me to go through. 

He knows what He's doing. 

Because He's the almighty. 

As my husband and I went up 

To the altar to pray- 

I was able to let all of my 

anxieties of that morning go. 

I was able to then pray for 

Myself, my husband, my children

And a hedge of protection for our home. 

As I got up, I saw another mom. 

She's new in child loss as well. 

As I watched her,

I felt the move of love come. 

I prayed over her- prayed for her. 

And all that she is going through. 

And my husband went to pray with hers. 

After all of this,

a sister in Christ came up 

And told me that she has two families that are in need of our assistance as they've endured two separate losses. 

I was shocked at how fast God was able to move. 

Because. Just like that. 

He restored my faith in His plan. 


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